Biggest Chooser Update – Week Three

February 13th, 2019




Before we get into the power rankings this week, I thought we should take a look at the latest weight loss trends for 2019. These are the best scientific practices currently being used (by “best” I mean “worst” and by “scientific” I mean “fabricated”).

1. The Weight and C method – This plan identifies that there is weight to be lost, but wait (see what I did there?) there’s more. Instead of eating food, one digests copious amounts of vitamin C, which will lead to weight loss and ultimately death, since vitamin C is not food.

2. The Bait and Switch method – The bait here refers to what you will place on a hook – yes this is a fish only diet. The switch portion of the plan occurs when you stop eating fish 24/7 and start eating any other food because who in their right mind can eat fish 24/7? The plan will not actually result in weight loss but you can tell your friends you’re on a diet.

3. The Chuck and Duck method – I think you know where I’m going with this one so let’s not go there!


Now this week’s rankings (by % of body weight lost – total: 880 lbs.)


1st – Charcoal – 4.85%

2nd – Orange – 4.36%

3rd – Yellow – 4.25%

4th – Kelly Green – 3.89%

5th – Tan – 3.66%

6th – Olive – 3.56%

7th – Crimson – 3.25%

8th – Navy – 3.22%

9th – Black – 3.16%

10th – Steel Blue – 2.91%

11th – Turquoise – 2.59%

This is a program that actually works!